THIS IS HOW THEIR LIFE FUCKING SHOULDVE BEEN
BUT SHIT HAPPENED AND I HATE EVERYTHING
think i just found my new life motto
I love that they are best friends!
Me too :)
cry me a lake by justin timberriver
You don’t understand;
My brother and his wife are both dentists. They just found out the sex of their baby is a girl.
I’m trying to convince them to name the baby Hermione.
My brother said if I get 100,000 notes he’ll make it her middle name.
Help me have the coolest niece EVER
If this doesn’t happen I will be thoroughly displeased.
The ol rrrrrrrazzle dazzle
The longer I watch, the funnier it gets
that moment when you don’t understand a joke but you laugh anyway, and then someone asks you to explain the joke
but that’s the fun part, you get to make an innocent joke the most satanic thing ever, e.g;
"a roman walks into a bar, puts up two fingers and asks for five beers"
"i dont get it?"
fuck, me neither???
"well what’s really going on is that the roman has just came back from his hard-core sex with Lindsey Lohan who was so tight that you could put a sack of coal up her vag and in no time you’d be rolling in diamonds, so he slapped her and killed her with a pitchfork then to calm his nerves, he went to his local bar and because times were very judge-mental and this roman was extremely self-conscious he made a code with the bar staff that 2 really means "we’re getting wasted tonight" but the bar staff were pissed at him for fucking their bitch (previously mentioned) that they spiked the beer with rat poison and that is the story about how a hormonal roman was taken by death into his lair because he had a drinking, sex, and drug problem (that’s another story) the end. :)"
all this post has taught me is that woman are equal to manatees, like, yeah i can see the similarities
i hate when you’re not in the same mood as your friend like when you want to slay your enemies and feast on their flesh and your friend wants to dance in a field of daisies and sing for the sake of singing like no stop that grab a pitchfork